Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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