What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
