Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
