We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
