How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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