So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
