ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm lost and stupid without you.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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