We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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