my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
