sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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