You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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