I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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