i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
