I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
my liver is dry heaving
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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