We should be called the Road Head Warriors
My pussy is not your playground.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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