Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
