is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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