I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
