Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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