She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
