just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
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