ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize