man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
