***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
