This is not my ceiling
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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