He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize