Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
