Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize