is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
