Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
