i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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