so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize