Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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