How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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