she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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