I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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