i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
