I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
