He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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