Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
