Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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