how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
