hotel room ftw
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Even my vagina gasped.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize