I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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