ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Randomize
