was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
