I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
