soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
