Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
