There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I licked your asshole in confidence.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
