***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Is Oprah even human
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
