So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
