chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
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