its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
please come you make the beer taste better
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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