he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Randomize
