I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
