you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
